Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Saturday Matinee

This past Saturday, I was bored out of my mind so I thought it would be a good idea to go see a movie.  Since I had just missed the showing for Despicable Me, I decided to go see Eclipse to see if it was really as good as people said.  A part of me knew that this was the last movie I should have been seeing, but come on!  I was bored!  

The movie started out with Edward asking Bella to marry, seriously? You, or should I say, she is not even 18 years old in the movie! Don't you think that you are moving just a tad bit too fast?  Again, maybe that's just me.

I have to say for a supposed chief of police, Bella's dad, Charlie, was not very bright!  Yeah, he put her on punishment and gave her a curfew of 4 pm so that she wouldn't see Edward, but she still saw him.  Don't even get me started on the fact that the guy spends the night!  Come on, Charlie!!  But whatever.

What I still don't get is why Bella, the moron, thought it would be a good idea to fall for a vampire that could kill her!?  Am I the only one noticing that she is the reason for most of the drama in these movies?!  I can't be.  She has done some crazy things in all three of the movies.  Most of the trouble that goes on is because of her!  In the first one, James comes after her and the Cullens have to kill him before he kills her.  The second one, after trying to kill herself, Edward decided that life wasn't worth living.  Good going!  In this one, the psycho girl vampire comes back to kill Bella, creating an army to kill off the Cullens.  Need I say more?!

I have to say, Jacob is so cute, but there were a ton of times when I almost screamed "What the hell are you thinking?!" at the screen.  Fortunately, I thought of the other people in the theater and controlled my outbursts.  Seriously though, I understand that he loved her and all, but come on, guy, Bella has made it pretty clear that she only loves you as a friend.  I did laugh out loud when Bella tried to punch him in the face and sprained her hand.  I couldn't breathe for minute!  The fights between Jacob the desperate and Edward, who looked extremely constipated throughout, got a little old.  There was no reason for them to be fighting over that girl when all she does is cause trouble!  Again, that's just my opinion!

The most ridiculous part of the movie was the tent scene.  I mean really?!  Girlfriend knew that she would be camping for real, so why in the world did she not pack more clothes!?  Idiot move to me.  I mean, did she really think that Edward would be able to keep her warm?  Uh no!  He is only good for watching while she sleeps.  And Jacob....really?!  I mean he was useful, but don't push the vampire.  And I know that he is a wolf, but doesn't this guy own a t-shirt?  To each his own, I guess, but oh my gosh!

Now, I'm sure some of you are wondering why in the world did I go see this movie if I knew that I would laugh so hard.  I saw it because I knew it would make me laugh.  I mean, think about it: A dumb girl who is in love with a vampire and a wolf and has to choose between them, is the reason why a vampire army is started and has a serious death wish.  How could anyone not find that funny?  And don't even get me started on the fact that Dakota Fanning was in the movie with her red contacts in!  

So if you are bored in the coming weeks and want to see a vampire "comedy", please see go see this movie.  If I were to rate this out of 10, I would give it a 6 only because it made me laugh and reminded me of all the dumb people in the world! 

Ps. I do apologize to any Twillight fans who were offended by this posting.

1 comment:

  1. Tiff-
    We will discuss this in your office.