Dear 14 year old Me,
You're probably thinking that this is a joke, but it's not...I promise. In 14 years, you're going to wonder where the time went and that's okay.
Let me tell you a few things that no one else, but I could know about you.
First of all, high school is going to suck but you'll get through it.Yes, freshman year will mean being a victim of a few senior pranks, sophomore year, you'll be taken away from your closest friends and move to GB, junior and senior years will mean that you will have to figure out who you are as a person. Fine, but you come out as a stronger person. Know that the clown that you almost fell for has a serious anger problem and you lucked out in the long run. Continue to watch who you allow close to you.
That notebook that you'll carry with you everywhere will be a lifesaver. It'll capture every thought that you're afraid the people you love will never understand. Those pages will hold the most honest words that you could ever write and know that at the loneliest of times, you're never alone. In time, you will open up just enough to the let a tiny portion of the world in and let me just tell you, they will shock you.
You may not realize it now, but its a blessing that Mom and Dad make you work for everything. You'll appreciate the prize in the end. The need to please them will never cease. It just doesn't, although I wish I could tell you otherwise. I will say this though: when you do start standing up for yourself, you will have one hell of a team of friends who have your back every step of the way. There won't be ton of them, but that's okay. Hold on to them.
Remember that in Gamae's last days, work means nothing because you don't know how long you have with her. It'll hurt like hell (and still does), but know that even after she leaves, she will always be with you and that'll be what keeps you going some days.
Know that no matter what anyone says, it's okay to be a nerd, an occasional loner, quiet. It'll pay off.
Being brutally honest sometimes can hurt people, but always be honest.
Last but not least, as you get older, you will have a wall around your heart to keep from falling because of this constant need to be everything to everyone and that's okay. All I say is know that maybe, just maybe, the barbed wire and rabid dogs may not be necessary. This guard will prevent you from enjoying life the way you should. Let people see that you aren't this evil cold person who thinks only of yourself, but one who will sacrifice everything to make those you care about happy.
Keep your head up and know that all of the bullshit you deal with now is only a test to see if you're worth the beautiful things in life.
Know that everything you do now will determine who you are when you're my age.
Know that not being perfect may be the best thing ever. It's your strength and determination that will get you to where you want to be. Never apologize for doing the right thing.
As I look back at you, know that I couldn't be more proud of you.
From the older you